Everyday Rudeness

Hello and welcome to today's episode of the Gold Forest English podcast. My name is Jordan and today I want to talk about some simple parts of English that can often feel a little bit rude for native speakers.

So these simple parts of English that lots of learners, lots of students, they learn to speak and learn to use, but they don't realize that it can be a little bit rude. So let's have a look at them today.

The first one is a very common problem and it's the phrase, I'm fine. So often in English, we have small talk. Small talk is the short and not important conversations when we meet people. So one of the first questions that you might ask or be asked is, How are you? How are you feeling? How are you doing? How are you?
All of these questions have the same meaning. And many students learn to answer, I'm fine.
Fine is an adjective, which means OK. I am happy, not bad, all right. But what many students don't realize is that the answer, I'm fine, can feel a little bit rude to native speakers. And that's because the answer is very short. I'm fine. Two words, two sounds. It's a very short answer, and that can make it feel a little bit cold, emotionally cold. It can feel a little bit rude to native speakers. So, instead of answering I'm fine, we just want to make the answers a little bit longer. So only a little bit longer, maybe one extra word can make your answers feel a lot warmer and friendlier and kinder.
So instead of saying, I'm fine, we could say, I'm doing fine. I'm feeling fine. And of course, we can use other words instead of fine. I'm doing good. I'm feeling good. I'm pretty good. I'm feeling okay. I'm doing well. We can use all different words, but you've noticed that all of these are a little bit longer. I'm doing fine. I'm feeling good instead of just I'm fine or I'm good. So we want to make our answers a little bit longer because when they're short, it can feel like this person doesn't want to talk to me. If I ask the question, how are you? And you answer, I'm fine. I might feel like, oh, they are busy. They don't want to talk to me. They are not interested in having a conversation. So be careful when you're answering this very common question. Just make it a little bit longer.
And of course, we can make it even more polite by saying things like thank you and maybe returning the question. So, how are you? I'm feeling good, thanks. How are you? So it's saying thank you or thanks and returning the question back to the original person. That makes it feel, of course, much more polite and friendly.

Another common problem that can feel rude to native speakers is the word what. So when we are speaking in English, it's very normal for students to have a problem with their listening, with understanding. Sometimes you are talking to an English speaker and they say something quickly or they pronounce the sounds difficult in a difficult style. Maybe they use difficult vocabulary you're not sure about, but you're listening, but you don't understand. So what we don't want to do in this situation, we don't want to say, what? What… what is a very simple question word, but again, because it's very short and small speech similar to I'm fine, because what is so short, it feels rude. It feels too direct. It sounds annoyed. I feel angry. I'm annoyed. I'm asking you this quick question.
So instead of saying what we could say just a little bit longer words. What has got one sound. Let's use words with two sounds, like sorry, pardon, and of course, phrases, like, could you say that again? Could you repeat that? and of course, adding the word please for our requests may makes it more polite. Could you say that again, please?
But even the word sorry. Sorry. It's got two sounds. It's got two syllables. S re. That is much warmer and more polite than what, which has one sound, one syllable. So, in both of our examples here, I'm fine, and what we can see that short answers can sound rude. They can feel cold, uninterested, annoyed. It feels too direct. It feels like you are not interested in having a conversation. So be careful when giving these short answers in small talk, in friendly conversation.
Of course, if you are in a conversation and somebody asks you for some information like some data, we can give short answers. For example, if your friend asks you what time do we need to leave the house? You can say, six. six is a short answer, but it's a data answer. It's a fact. It's information. They requested information, and you gave it to them. That is not cold, that is not rude. It's a piece of information that they've asked for as a piece of data. And that is okay to use short answers. But for our casual, friendly conversations, we want to make our answers just a little bit bigger. I'm doing good. I'm fine - no! I'm feeling fine. I'm pretty good. And if we don't hear what they're saying, instead of saying what, we say, sorry, pardon? Excuse me? Could you say that again? Things like that.

Okay, well. thank you very much for listening. Be careful with your English and I'm sure you'll be able to practice these things easily because they're very common situations. So have fun and I will see you in the next episode. Thank you very much. Goodbye.